The subject for today is being present, in the moment, with no distractions when you are with children.

I know at some point in our lives we have all made this mistake where our minds are elsewhere and we are in auto pilot mode and we hear what is going on around us and answer questions but we are not really there. I used to catch myself in this mode many times until a few years ago when I had so much more time to reflect on myself and my life. Having children definitely changes your life and in the beginning when I was still trying to figure out motherhood and the syndrome my girls had with everyday life I found myself in this mode. I felt overwhelmed with the normal life activities and everything else that was piling up. At the moment I had no clue I was doing it, I was moving at full speed in my own race to what I don’t know. I really realized about 3 years ago because I was now living the divorced life where I rotated weeks of when I had the girls. In the beginning I thought my world was ending when I didn’t have them and my heart ached to not hug them every day and night. It just seemed wrong in the beginning but I slowly occupied myself with the auto pilot activities during this time. I focused all my attention on getting things done and out of the way. I focused on recharging myself. I guess you could say I was being in the presence of myself and being in the moment with myself.

The week that I have the girls with me I’m able to give them my attention and time with no distractions. I make sure to always do something with them and explore different things. I make sure to go on walks with them. I have mentioned this before but during the week technology is not allowed after 6 which forces us to be with each other and not glued to any screens. We make sure to be silly with each other and lots of giggles. I try my hardest to give them my full focus. I’m human though so I know there are times where my brain shuts down and sometimes I need a break. I think that is important for kids to understand because there are times they need the same and that is allowed.

Where it gets tricky though is when people think that just because you do things with your kids that it means you are paying attention to them and their needs. You can do a billion things in the day but if your mind was elsewhere and you were on your phone or staring at the TV or staring off in space then you were not in their presence. I see this all the time when I’m out and about. Parents are answering questions without even looking at their kids. While staring at their phones they are telling their kids yes you can eat the dirt and not even realizing what words are coming out of their mouths. They are living a zombie life not paying attention to the years passing by. Kids are pretty smart and can pick up on these things and it impacts their behavior big time. They are not getting the attention they want so they will act out to get even the negative attention.

So yes I’m running the marathon of life but I make sure most of the running is on my own time. Tomorrow is not promised and I want to cherish every moment I have with my kids. Turn the technology off and put it away and cuddle up with your kids. Talk to them about when they were babies or make up silly stories. Ask them what the best part of their day was. Look them in the eye when you are talking and really feel the connection. Read stories to them or have them read to you and talk about the stories.

When they get older they are going to remember these moments and the feeling it gave them…