Day 13 – Florida Living

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The subject for today is living in Florida year round.

I moved to America in 1984 and we moved to Tampa, FL and have lived here since.  I haven’t really lived anywhere else but with work as a consultant I did get the opportunity to visit some cities traveling back and forth.  I have been to a few vacations to different places.  I don’t know if Tampa is my comfort zone but I find living here having more benefits year round.

  1. Yes it gets hot here but wherever you go there is air conditioning.  People worry about hurricanes but since 1984 a hurricane has not been a threat to me living in Tampa.  We don’t get four seasons but we also don’t get 9 months of winter and blizzards and getting stuck at home for days.
  2. No state income taxes, one less thing to worry about when filing taxes 😉
  3. I can drive to the beach in less than an hour.
  4. In general it’s cheaper to live here in comparison to other places I have been to.
  5. Although traffic is horrendous sometimes you can usually get around pretty easily.  There is only a period around the holidays where traffic can get ridiculous with all the snow birds but it’s only a few months out of the year.
  6. I am a short drive to Mickey and friends 🙂
  7. Within Florida there are so many different things to see which I have not even seen half of yet.

Overall I’m happy living here and going to visit other places.  This could be because this is what I’m used to but for now this is my home and I’m glad!

Day 12 – Love Or Lust After 35

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The subject for today is love or lust after 35.

I am not sure the age really matters in this equation because I think as a whole this is something that is questionable at any age these days.  I am in no way a love expert and most definitely not a lust expert for those that know me haha.  I am probably as qualified to talk about this subject as a man is on labor pains.  The only love that I am positive about and know very well is the love between a parent and a child.  I know this love for my children and my parents but I am pretty sure the person that gave me this subject was not talking about that kind of love.  So here I go, blind leading the blind 😉

I guess in a way I get where this subject was going with the age factor.  I had children before I turned 35 but I can see where girls would be seeking someone just to procreate and not necessarily looking for love.  They may say that they are looking for love but I would think that their vision is not clear and their end goal is really about the baby they so badly want.  They may feel that they are running out of time and they need to find someone fast.  They may be looking at all the wrong things and focusing more on what the person looks like on the outside in this hunt for lust.  They may get lucky and find someone that ultimately is someone they love, in other words the lust turns into love.  The other side of it though is that in this hunt where they have tuned everything that matters out they may have completely missed the flaws of this person and this lust most definitely does not turn into love.

So besides the feeling of needing to procreate I think in this day and age love is not what it used to be.  The word love is used too loosely these days that it has lost its true meaning.  I think people say “I love You” way too fast these days.  Hi, How are you? I love you, let’s sleep together…do you even know each other’s names? haha  You have kids that think they are in love but in reality they don’t even know the person or what love is.

It’s tricky because unless you are friends with someone and that friendship turns into love obviously the initial attraction is only based on what you see and that can start out with lust.  Depending on what you are looking for you can turn that lust into love by getting to know the person more and more.  I think back in the days it was more common for people to be friends first and they grew up with each other within family friendships.  Today it still exists to some extent but mostly when you are younger and in school and sometimes that friendship turns into a lasting love relationship.  That can be dangerous too because sometimes the friend zone that turns into love is more of a habit or comfort zone and you don’t have the passion in your life.  I think it is important that the love relationship also contains lust otherwise the partnership could deteriorate easily.  You could easily go into auto pilot mode and not even realize it.

I think one major reason that love is not what it used to be is technology.  You would think that I would love technology considering that I am a computer programmer but it absolutely scares me and what the future will be like.  One of my favorite things to do is people watch and it saddens me to see how much people are losing out on.  People are so obsessed with their technology that they are not in the presence of each other.  You go to dinner and see so many couple sitting at the table on a “date” but they are looking down at their phones, sometimes not even talking to each other.  To me this is an example of the relationship being about lust because you are not even communicating with each other.  In talking to people you learn about their lives and their personalities and their character and all of that could eventually turn into love.  Just because you have been with someone for 3 years does not mean that it is love when 2.9 years of that were spent staring into the light of that damn technology.

I fear that it is just going to get worse and I wish I knew how to fix it.  So to me lust is much more common these days and love is hard to find.  I think this quote sums up the difference between the two perfectly…

Lust is when you love
only what you see.
Love is when you lust
for what is
inside.

– Renee Conkle

Day 11 – Queen Bey vs. Miss Jackson If You’re Nasty

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The subject for today is Beyoncé or Janet Jackson.

I can’t say that either one is one of my favorites but I am not a music snob and I do like songs from both.  The Janet Jackson Control Album has lots of songs that remind me of growing up and MTV and the fun music videos when there were actually music videos on TV haha.  I think that they each have talent in their own ways.  Beyoncé in my opinion has a better voice.  I think that they are both pretty but I know Janet Jackson has had lots of surgery, who knows maybe Beyoncé has too.  I am sure both look nothing like they do on TV or magazines if you were to take off all the makeup so can’t say who is prettier.  I recently saw a picture of Janet Jackson which is almost 50 and her body looks amazing.  I know both have personal trainers and probably cooks so whatever hahahaha.  Beyoncé seems snobby and a little too in love with herself and Janet Jackson seems a little more down to earth.  They have both in movies and I would say they both have about the same level of acting skills.  They can both dance.  They both have money.  I am just blabbing now, I don’t know them, the end…

Day 10 – String Theory

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The subject for today is string theory.

I’m not going to pretend I understand string theory.  I tried string theory for dummies and string theory for kids and they all sounded foreign to me.  I’m a computer geek, I understand 0’s and 1’s.  I tried many times to try to understand it but at the end I feel dumber than dumb.  My brain has turned into string…. Is that what string theory is?

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Day 9 – Fears

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The subject for today is fears.

Fear is a complex topic as you have so many different kinds of fear. You have fear of things, fear of life events, fear of people, etc. I thought I would maybe list 10 of my fears:

  1. Cats – growing up I saw my mom being terrified of cats and I always thought of them as evil animals. I’ve gotten better over the years but I’ve recently added it to my bucket list to get over it.
  2. Public speaking – I’ve always been afraid to get up in front of a crowd. I dreaded school presentations. To this day talking in meetings makes me nervous.
  3. Losing my sight – since a young age I’ve had a “lazy” eye. It’s not your typical lazy eye as I move it but I just can’t see fully out of it. So I have fear of losing it on both eyes. If I’m not wearing my glasses I get nervous sometimes that a flying object will take my eye out haha
  4. My kids getting hurt – as a parent you want to always protect your kids. It’s inevitable that in life you will get hurt but when you think about it happening to your babies it’s different than yourself getting hurt. That fear of knowing you will not always be there to protect them.
  5. Technology – technology has already taken over the world and slowly but surely is taking over our minds. I fear what will become of human interaction. You go out these days and everybody is on their phones not being in the moment.
  6. Unknown – the fear of just not knowing what is to come next in life. Not knowing what the next second will be.
  7. Mice/rats – they are gross and I will NOT be adding this to my bucket list to get over haha
  8. Clowns – they creep me out! Again no bucket list update on this one haha
  9. Roller coasters – I should probably get over this one…seems silly
  10. Germs – I’ve got issues with germs. I clean and wash my hands more than your average person, okay a lot more haha

There you have it…

Day 8 – Happiest Moment

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The subject for today is my happiest moment so far.

I didn’t even have to think twice about this.  Without a doubt becoming a mother is the happiest moment so far.  I want to say I don’t think anything will ever surpass that happiness but they say becoming a grandmother is amazing too.

The happiness begins the moment you find out you are pregnant and you see that positive pregnancy test.  Then with each milestone it gets stronger and stronger…the first ultrasound where you see this alien looking thing and you are already in love, the the first time you hear the heartbeat, when you feel the first movement, when you find out the sex, when you see the first movement, when you go into labor.  All those milestones set you closer and closer in anticipation of meeting the being you created for the first time.

I’ll tell you I had horrible pregnancies, I gave a whole new definition to morning sickness.  Morning sickness on the world clock is what I had, it was morning somewhere haha.  Then when you go into labor it’s not all butterflies and flowers and rainbows.  After all that though the minute they lay your babies on your chest You forget everything else leading to that point.  It is the most euphoric feeling to have that skin to skin contact for the first time.  You experience a love you have never felt.  The bond you started with your baby in utero has become reality.  You lay there staring at the tiny toes, the tiny fingers, the soft skin…you can stare for hours in amazement and that moment for me is definitely my happiest moment…

Day 7 – Blessings

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The subject for today is Blessings.

This could be a very long post as there are so many blessings in my life.  As I get older and wiser I realize how many blessings I truly have, so for this post here are 50 blessings…

  1. Opening my eyes each morning – Let’s face it the fact that you wake up each morning is the ultimate blessing.
  2. My Parents – Without them I would not be here.  They made me who I am and I am forever grateful to have them as my parents.
  3. Melodie & Lillian – My babies are my everything.  I cannot imagine my life without them and they make my heart complete.
  4. My Sister – Growing up we fought A LOT but at the end of the day she always means the world to me.
  5. Family – I love my family near and far.  I wish that I could have all my family close to me but I think about them all the time.
  6. Friends – I am blessed to have some amazing friends.  I may not see these friends all the time but they are always in my heart.
  7. Job – I have a job that allows me to live my life and provide for my kids.
  8. My kid’s teachers – I have met some amazing people along the way and they will always hold a special place in my heart.
  9. Technology – I have mixed emotions about this one as I have a love/hate relationship with it.  For this post it’s a blessing because it allows me to connect with family and friends that I can’t see every day.
  10. My kid’s doctors – I have an amazing group of doctors that have invested a lot of time in my kids.
  11. Support Groups – to be able to talk to people experiencing the same thing is amazing
  12. A roof over my head – no explanation needed
  13. Showers – I don’t want to think about what my life without showers would be like.  Growing up I remember I would take 3 showers a day in the Summer, heck who am I kidding I still do that on the weekends haha.  What? I like to feel clean 🙂
  14. Chocolate – Seems silly to have chocolate as a blessing but I am so thankful it exists.
  15. Washing Machine – Do I even need to explain why this is a blessing?
  16. Cameras – I love to capture memories that I can look at whenever I want.
  17. Music – Music is a must in my life and I listen to it almost all day and I listen to all different kinds.
  18. GPS – I suck with directions
  19. My sight – I am so thankful I am able to see all the beauty around me and watch my babies grow each day.
  20. Hugs – Both giving and receiving.
  21. Lovebugs at the end of Summer – Nothing better than the first love bug sighting in the September time frame
  22. The snooze button – I don’t know why it feels better to wake up every 10 minutes for an hour and press the snooze button instead of just sleeping that solid one hour
  23. Laughter & Giggles – Best medicine for everything
  24. Art – Both viewing it and doing it and the fact that there is no right or wrong.
  25. Hot water – Taking cold showers is not my favorite.
  26. Sunshine – Lack of it makes me depressed
  27. Hot Tea – Being cold is the story of my life
  28. Soap – See #13
  29. Each second of the day – each second you are breathing is a blessing
  30. Air Conditioning – I live in Florida haha
  31. Nice People – with all the negativity in the world nice people are really a blessing
  32. Car – Living in Tampa, FL unfortunately you need a car to get around
  33. My Past – Every event in my life has taught me a lesson and has made me who I am
  34. Grocery Stores – I do not have a green thumb to grow my own things
  35. My own bed – no better feeling to cuddle up in your own bed at the end of the day
  36. Blankets – See #25
  37. Days off – Sometimes you just need a break
  38. Refrigerators – Makes life so much easier and convenient
  39. Cheese – Mmmmmm
  40. Potatoes – Nom Nom Nom
  41. Deodorant – Can you imagine how many showers I would be taking if I didn’t have this?  See #13
  42. Memories – such a beautiful thing to be able to remember things
  43. Waze App – Oh the hours of driving in traffic it has saved me
  44. Naps – doesn’t happen often but when it does…what a feeling!
  45. Rainbows – Who doesn’t like to see a rainbow?
  46. Floss – a true blessing after corn
  47. Mindless movies or shows – sometimes you just don’t want to think
  48. Waking up thinking it’s time to go to work and you realize it is the weekend and you can go right back to sleep
  49. Electricity – Kind of needed in this day and age
  50. My Life…

Day 6 – Where Do We Meet?

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The subject for today is we are both in Tampa, I travel West and you travel East…at the same rate…where do we meet and what day and time would it be for both of us?

Well the math geek in me says there is not enough information in this word problem.  For example:

  1. Are we travelling in opposite directions or towards each other?
  2. How far away are we from each other in Tampa?
  3. What day and time is it when we start?
  4. Are we walking or driving?
  5. How fast are we walking or driving?

If we are travelling in opposite directions and we are the average human being then we are talking years until we eventually meet.  But let’s have some fun and pretend we are super humans.  At the equator, the Earth is 24,901 miles in circumference.  So if we are walking then we would be going through many shoes and we would have to swim.  Oh but wait we are super humans so we can walk on water.  According to “Thee Almighty Google” the average person walks about 3.1 miles per hour, so that is about 8,033 hours.  If we walked nonstop and never stopped to eat or pee or sleep we would see each other in about 335 days.  Not bad, we would see each other in less than a year.  Well we may not see each other because clearly we would be so thin from all that walking.

Now let’s imagine we have a car that drives in water as well.  Let’s say we drive nonstop at 60 miles per hour then we would be at about 415 hours.  So we would see each other in about 17 days.

If meeting doesn’t have to be physical then we could meet using technology all day/all night whenever you we want.  We could Skype, FaceTime, heck we could setup internet cameras and follow each other’s every move…but that might just be a little weird haha

If we are walking towards each other then it all depends on where the starting location is.  If we are in the same room then we don’t even have to walk.  Our eyes just need to travel towards each other.  Technology could be used in this situation as well but that would make us the laziest human beings on earth!

Maybe I completely missed this riddle presented to me but I conclude that not enough information was provided.

Boy all that super human walking was exhausting…

Day 5 – Coping

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The subject for today is teaching others how to cope with everyday life.

This is a tricky subject because what I use to cope with my life may not necessarily help someone else.  But I think if we look at the bigger picture the concept can be shared.  I wouldn’t say I am in any shape or form an expert on this subject but I try and do my best.

I am a strong believer that things in life happen for a reason.  I have also accepted that sometimes you don’t know why immediately and honestly sometimes you may never find out.  It hasn’t been easy believing this or accepting this over the past 12-13 years.  I have been faced with many events in my life from miscarriages to a divorce and I could have very easily just given up on life.  I could have thrown in the towel and given up hope in everything and everyone but everybody experiences pain.  Life would not be the same if you didn’t experience unpleasant events at some point in your life.  It teaches us lessons and makes us stronger.

Growing up I saw my parents go through so much and to this day I am so grateful for what they did.  The courage it took for them to leave their lives behind in Iran and move to America with two young kids, not speaking English and starting from scratch is beyond words.  Leaving behind all their possessions and the life they had built for themselves.  This taught me a very valuable lesson in that life is not always easy but you do what you need to and can to make the best of it.

I was fortunate to be surrounded by love growing up and have fond memories of being around family.  I didn’t experience pain and suffering and lived a pretty stress free life.  I didn’t really experience true pain until later in life.  I am talking true pain and not your first boyfriend breaking up with you or your best friend talking behind your back.  Not petty pain but feeling like you want to go into a hole and never come out.  When I was pregnant with Melodie I found out toward the end of my pregnancy that she could potentially have a syndrome and that made me feel upset, sad, angry, confused, scared, etc.  I remember I kept asking why is this happening to me?  What did I do to deserve this stress?  Why couldn’t I just have a healthy baby?  It was a downward spiral of why questions and negative thoughts.  After a few weeks I snapped out of it and went into research mode and prepared myself for her possibly having this syndrome and dealing with it.  When the true diagnosis of her having Beckwith Wiedemann Syndrome was confirmed after birth I was prepared.  Holding her in my arms that first time I immediately knew that I would have to be extra strong for her and be her cheerleader.  I joined support groups for BWS and shared stories and questions with other families that were dealing with the same things.  Seeing that I was not alone in this journey was a blessing and it made me realize this isn’t so bad.  I quickly learned that I had to be positive and accept that she had the syndrome and be okay with all the appointments, lab work, ultrasounds, surgeries, etc.  Not once was it easy to watch your baby cry as they poked her or pushed her stomach or put her to sleep for a procedure but at the end everything always turned out fine.  When Lillian was born with the same syndrome I knew that I could do it all over again.  I knew that I had to be extra strong for the both of them and show them that everything will always turn out fine.  Day to day has been hard at times but I feel like with them always getting checked out I have the advantage of always knowing what is going on with their health.  I think all of it is making us stronger in life and I think I got these babies because some other mom may have not shown this much love and care for them.  So keeping a positive outlook is how I have coped with it.

The next event that caused me much heartache is my divorce and not because of me and what would happen to me but the decision I had to make for Melodie and Lillian.  It was no longer about just me and I had to make sure I was doing what was best for them.  I knew that saving a marriage just because you have kids was not an option and felt that would be teaching them all the wrong lessons had I chosen that route.  As hard as it was in the beginning I know that I made the right decision and once again had to be strong for them and show them that everything was going to be okay.  Initially I coped with it by saving my stress and sadness for when I didn’t have them and made sure my time with them was all about them.  It was hard being away from them when they were gone and it was definitely an adjustment but I slowly realized that the time I had to myself I could get everything I needed to get done and recharge myself to be with them again.  I could give them my full attention without having to worry about things I needed to get done around the house.  During my alone time it gave me lots of time to reflect on everything that had happened and I realized it was okay to be selfish sometimes and do things that make you happy.  As silly as it sounds I used to (and sometimes still do) feel guilty if I am having fun without the girls.

After these major events in my life I realize the important things in life and all the smaller day to day struggles almost seem silly.  I know I am allowed to have bad days but I don’t let them last for long.  That is how I cope with things more at a mental level but then I also think it is important to do things that help reduce the struggles in your life.  Again these are things that work for me but may not necessarily work for you:

  1. Exercise, I try to do 30 minutes each day
  2. Treating myself to a pedicure once a month
  3. Treating myself to a delicious treat once a week (I confess sometimes it is more than once 🙂 )
  4. Taking long walks when it’s not raining nonstop haha
  5. Watching mindless shows such as cheesy Hallmark movies or silly reality shows
  6. Sitting in silence
  7. Music, music and more music…I could not live without music
  8. Writing in this blog
  9. Drawing or Painting
  10. Being around family
  11. Cleaning and organizing (Don’t ask me why)
  12. Crying because sometimes you just need to get it out
  13. Lots of giggles with Melodie & Lillian

Coping with pain or stress or any struggle in life has been a learning process.  Sometimes it takes extreme situations to teach us this.  The important thing is to realize that life is not easy and things will happen and you will not like some of the things but how you react to it is what is important.  Coping is putting things into a positive light and trying to make the best of the situation.  Coping is making sure you get closure on things and not dwell on what happened.  Sometimes we take for granted what we have and instead of focusing on what we have we focus on what is wrong with what we have.  I have two girls that have medical issues but there are some people out there that can’t have kids.  I am living a single mom life but there are some single moms out there that have no family and are living in poverty.  I am living in an apartment with annoying neighbors but there are some people that don’t have a roof on top of their heads.

Take lots of deep breaths and find something that makes you happy.  Focus on the positives and don’t let negativity rule your life…