The subject for today is love or lust after 35.

I am not sure the age really matters in this equation because I think as a whole this is something that is questionable at any age these days.  I am in no way a love expert and most definitely not a lust expert for those that know me haha.  I am probably as qualified to talk about this subject as a man is on labor pains.  The only love that I am positive about and know very well is the love between a parent and a child.  I know this love for my children and my parents but I am pretty sure the person that gave me this subject was not talking about that kind of love.  So here I go, blind leading the blind 😉

I guess in a way I get where this subject was going with the age factor.  I had children before I turned 35 but I can see where girls would be seeking someone just to procreate and not necessarily looking for love.  They may say that they are looking for love but I would think that their vision is not clear and their end goal is really about the baby they so badly want.  They may feel that they are running out of time and they need to find someone fast.  They may be looking at all the wrong things and focusing more on what the person looks like on the outside in this hunt for lust.  They may get lucky and find someone that ultimately is someone they love, in other words the lust turns into love.  The other side of it though is that in this hunt where they have tuned everything that matters out they may have completely missed the flaws of this person and this lust most definitely does not turn into love.

So besides the feeling of needing to procreate I think in this day and age love is not what it used to be.  The word love is used too loosely these days that it has lost its true meaning.  I think people say “I love You” way too fast these days.  Hi, How are you? I love you, let’s sleep together…do you even know each other’s names? haha  You have kids that think they are in love but in reality they don’t even know the person or what love is.

It’s tricky because unless you are friends with someone and that friendship turns into love obviously the initial attraction is only based on what you see and that can start out with lust.  Depending on what you are looking for you can turn that lust into love by getting to know the person more and more.  I think back in the days it was more common for people to be friends first and they grew up with each other within family friendships.  Today it still exists to some extent but mostly when you are younger and in school and sometimes that friendship turns into a lasting love relationship.  That can be dangerous too because sometimes the friend zone that turns into love is more of a habit or comfort zone and you don’t have the passion in your life.  I think it is important that the love relationship also contains lust otherwise the partnership could deteriorate easily.  You could easily go into auto pilot mode and not even realize it.

I think one major reason that love is not what it used to be is technology.  You would think that I would love technology considering that I am a computer programmer but it absolutely scares me and what the future will be like.  One of my favorite things to do is people watch and it saddens me to see how much people are losing out on.  People are so obsessed with their technology that they are not in the presence of each other.  You go to dinner and see so many couple sitting at the table on a “date” but they are looking down at their phones, sometimes not even talking to each other.  To me this is an example of the relationship being about lust because you are not even communicating with each other.  In talking to people you learn about their lives and their personalities and their character and all of that could eventually turn into love.  Just because you have been with someone for 3 years does not mean that it is love when 2.9 years of that were spent staring into the light of that damn technology.

I fear that it is just going to get worse and I wish I knew how to fix it.  So to me lust is much more common these days and love is hard to find.  I think this quote sums up the difference between the two perfectly…

Lust is when you love
only what you see.
Love is when you lust
for what is
inside.

– Renee Conkle